Secrets
by StormLongbottom
Summary: What is the real reason that Seamus is mad at Harry Potter in his fifth year? Slash and rape...I warned you! PLEASE REVIEW!


Disclaimer: She really should be the Queen! We all know her! Need I say more?

Secrets

Seamus stormed out of the boys dorms, after having another one-sided fight with Harry. The truth was, Seamus knew Harry was telling the truth. He couldn't admit that he believed Harry. If he did, his mum would have just taken him out of Hogwarts.

Seamus found a secluded part of the common room to go think. He didn't even know why he wanted to stay at Hogwarts.

Secrets flooded his mind, as he sat there. Torments of a secret that stayed in the dungeons. Secrets that absolutely tore Seamus in half.

The internal battle on the fighting side for staying was one, Dean Thomas. Seamus' best friend and most trusted mate. Yet, Seamus couldn't even tell Dean the two secrets that haunted his dreams. Dean would shun him. This, Seamus knew for sure. He felt himself go flush, thinking of what Dean would think.

Seamus wondered how the other guys might take his secrets. The thought made Seamus laugh. Harry was so caught up with . . . Seamus grunted. He was still pissed at Harry.

Seamus cooled his temper when he thought about how Neville might take it. Neville would be the right person to understand. He would, more than likely, keep the secret just that, a secret.

Seamus tensed at the thought of Ron, then decided to find Neville. Where was Neville? Seamus realized he hadn't seen Neville the whole day. He pondered. The greenhouse!

Seamus instantly got up and went on his way to the greenhouse. He had to duck and hide as Malfoy and Pansy passed by. Malfoy's menacing laugh sent chills down Seamus' spine.

_"Seamus_,"_ a cold voice whispered in his ear."_

Seamus ran the rest of the way to the greenhouse. He only stopped to take a breath before entering.

Upon entering, Seamus could have sworn he heard the words crap, hide, and who's there. Seamus approached Neville, cautiously.

"Seamus!" Neville squealed, when Seamus was close enough to see. "Stop. My—er—_Mimbulus Mimbletonia _is quite ill. It keeps exploding." Neville nervously laughed.

Seamus, unsure of what may be going on, made a quick decision. "Er—Nev, could you meet me in the common room when you're—done?" He chose his words carefully.

"S-sure."

Seamus went on his way to the common room. He walked very slowly because he knew Neville might take a very long time. He didn't want to be by himself any more than he was. Though, it was kind of fun for him to think up many people that Neville could have been with. It could have been bloody anyone. But it was Longbottom, Seamus' rational side told him. Seamus realized he was smiling to himself for the first time in a long time.

His happiness was put on pause by an oh-to-familiar, "Finnigan." Chills ran up his spine. He slowly turned around. What he saw was the one thing that could have killed anyone's happiness, at this point. A taunting smile from Draco Malfoy.

"Malfoy you . . . "

"Shh," Malfoy put a finger up to Seamus' lips. "I told you, I only do things once. I'm a firm believer in trying everything once." He curled up his lip. He haughtily strolled on, but his voice trailed on. "Don't say a word, this is, if you don't want every Death Eater on your head." He looked back at Seamus to see his fear. With that pleasure, he evilly guffawed, walking on.

Seamus scurried to the common room after that. He curled into a ball in a corner. He was very alone. That prat killed his mood. Not that his mood had been all that good to begin with. But he shut his eyes.

_"Finnigan," Malfoy strode up behind him. Seamus whorled around. Cold eyes stared at him. Malfoy smirked. "Ready to be a brave little Gryffindor?"_

* * *

Neville slightly pushed Seamus awake. Seamus rubbed his eyes. Neville noticed his tear stains, on his cheek. 

"You've been crying." Neville was concerned.

"Shh. Let's go on a walk, please."

Neville shook his head. They got up and crawled out of the portrait hole. They didn't say a word until they were outside the castle.

Seamus breathed deeply. "Can I trust you, Neville?"

"Yes, but why are you asking me this? Shouldn't you talk to Dean?" Neville looked dumbfounded.

Seamus' lower lip started quivering. "I have two huge secrets that Dean would stop being my mate for." He blinked. A tear rolled down his cheek.

Neville stopped. "Listen. I'll tell you my two secrets to suffice. If I tell yours, you can tell mine, for even purposes."

He looked into Neville's eyes. "You sure?"

Neville nodded.

"Nev," Seamus breathed. "I'm gay."

Neville bashfully smiled.

"What?" Seamus quit crying.

"I was worried about you catching me with Justin, and this is what you tell me." Neville blurted out and laughed hard. Seamus had never seen Neville like this.

Seamus' eyes nearly popped out of his head. "Finch-Flechley?"

Neville, realizing what he had just admitted, turned scarlet. "Yes." He looked down and rubbed his foot in the dirt.

Seamus put two fingers under Neville's chin. He leaned in and kissed Neville. Scratch that. Seamus only thought about kissing Neville. He actually looked into Neville's eyes, grinning.

"What?"

Seamus blinked hard, snapping out of it. "Do you love Justin?"

"No." Neville scrunched up his nose. "He's good at—" he paused, blushing. "I like someone else more."

"Who?"

"I've already told you two secrets. It's your turn."

"You've only told me one." They started walking again.

"My fling with Justin." He put up one finger. "An unsaid, I'm gay." He put up another finger.

Seamus squinted his right eye, looking forward. "Fine. What I have to say is hard to say."

"I'm here for you." Neville put his hand on Seamus' shoulder.

Seamus looked at him and smiled. He swallowed hard. "You're going to want to tell, but I can't stress the importance of you not." Neville squeezed Seamus' shoulder. Under his breath, Seamus said, "I was raped."

Neville didn't hear him. "What was that?"

Seamus stopped, looked at Neville, and said in a normal tone, "I was raped."

Neville's jaw dropped. It took him a long time to get anything out of his mouth. "W-who did that t-to you?"

Seamus closed his eyes. "Malfoy," he said in a monotone.

"That's outrageous!" Neville was fuming.

"Neville, don't tell." Seamus said desperately.

Clenching his fists, Neville said, "I won't. How did he do it?"

"He asked me if I was ready to be a brave Gryffindor." He kept telling Neville.

* * *

"_I believe I just asked you a question." Malfoy slapped Seamus in the face._

_Seamus went for his wand. By the time he got it out of his robes, Malfoy already had his wand out, in use. "_Petrificus Totalus_!" Seamus' body instantly went straight. His arms and legs were stuck together. Malfoy put tape over Seamus' mouth._

_From that point, Malfoy dragged Seamus down to the dungeon. He put him down in Snape's classroom. He took Seamus' wand. Then, he took the curse off of Seamus._

"_I'll put it right back on you, if you try to get out. You will be completely submissive to me." Malfoy coldly stared at Seamus. Seamus' whole body trembled._

_Malfoy dropped his robes. He was completely naked._

_Fear set so deeply into Seamus that he didn't really know what was going on. Malfoy cast a spell of some sort. (A soundproofing charm, for no one to be able to hear what was going on in the room.) Seamus was trapped. He thought the more submissive he was the quicker it would be over._

_Malfoy gracefully walked over to Seamus. "What's wrong? I chose you from everyone in Gryffindor." Malfoy brushed a hand on Seamus' cheek. Seamus turned away from him. Malfoy punched him in the gut. "Don't turn away from me!" He was as scary sounding as Snape when he was mad. Seamus turned his eyes back to Malfoy. Tears were rolling down his cheeks._

_Malfoy's penis became instantly erect. Malfoy took Seamus' robes off of him slowly. He licked his lips. Seamus' penis was simi-stiff. He was still crying. "Not too bad, but I want to know how much you really have to offer me."_

_Malfoy turned Seamus around, bending him over a table. He did another unknown charm. (A lubricant charm.) Without warning, Malfoy shoved his whole cock in Seamus' ass. Seamus screamed. "Don't pull away. I'll just do it again." Seamus stood completely still. His wailing only made Malfoy more excited._

_The pain in Seamus' ass was unbearable. Draco was pushing himself as far up Seamus as he could. Seamus screamed. Unable to think, he accidently slipped out, "why me?"_

_Malfoy leaned over Seamus a bit more and got right next to his ear. He sneered. "Why you?" He whispered. Malfoy dug his nails into Seamus' back, making him arch back and scream out in pain. Malfoy licked up Seamus' bleeding back. He spit the blood back in Seamus' face._

"_I try to do everything once, silly Irish boy. I've never fucked an Irishman or a Gryffindor. I know that you won't tell anyone. I'm friends with some really important people. Remember the World Cup? Those most powerful wizards?_"

_Seamus was real embarrassed because the sensation of Malfoy's cock in his ass was becoming somewhat exciting. To Seamus' horror, he came right before Malfoy did. "Seamus," Malfoy's cold voice mocked Seamus._

"_Don't say a word or you'll be dead," Malfoy said as he put his cloths back on. "I don't know why you would. It appears that you liked it."_

_He left the room. Seamus collected his cloths. He cleaned his face using "_Scourgify_." After getting dressed, Seamus cried in the middle of the room. How could he have let this happen?_

* * *

Seamus was on his knees, crying again. This time, though, he wasn't alone. Neville's arms 

engulfed Seamus' shaking body. Neville was actually crying too. Neville sweetly kissed Seamus' cheek. Seamus turned and looked at Neville's tear-filled eyes. He leaned in and actually kissed Neville. When they pulled away, Seamus screamed, "he took my virginity!"

Neville squeezed him tightly. "Seamus," Neville said lightly. Seamus looked at him. "I love you."

Seamus kissed Neville passionately. Seamus, reluctantly, pulled away from Neville. His eyes were still glazed over with tears. With a trembling hand, he took one of Neville's hands. He looked up into Neville's eyes and licked his lips. "I love you back." Neville slightly bounced. "But," and this is where Seamus' heart broke straight in two. "We can't be together." Neville sadly looked down at the ground. Seamus put his hands on Neville's cheeks, lifting his head to look at him. "Don't get me wrong. None of this has to do with you. Malfoy has a strong choke hold on me. If he caught wind of this, he would do horrible things to you. I just can't let that happen to you."

Neville's heart broke with these words. He was all to use to heart break and loneliness though. Despite his discomfort in the situation, Neville hugged the boy he's loved secretly for many years.

As Seamus hugged his new-found-love, thoughts flowed though his head about little quarks that Neville had done in the past. How could Seamus have not seen all the signs of the love for this boy?

* * *

Seamus ended up joining DA. Most people thought it was because Dean talked him into joining. The truth was, Neville was in DA. This was a time to spend with his love and no one know it. 

Seamus spent very many nights crying over the want for Neville and knowing that he couldn't because of one prick in the school. Seamus thought about going to Dumbledore, but then the Death Eaters would kill him.

Seamus wasn't the only one that cried at night. He heard muffled whimpers from Neville's bed, nearly every night. Seamus urged Neville to go back to Justin, but Neville was hellbent on being faithful to Seamus.

* * *

Seamus was most happy when Neville came in one day, bragging about his wand. Neville had grown up so much. He was more brave than Seamus. Seamus knew he could never have gone up against Death Eaters the way Neville had. The very breath was drawn from his body as he thought of Malfoy's wrap on him.

* * *

Sixth year ended up being Seamus' jackpot though. Dean started dating Ginny. This opened up a lot of room for Seamus to be with Neville. To everyone else in the world, it looked like Seamus was lonely without his best friend. He got much pitty for 'having to hang out with Neville.' This made Seamus angry. Being a temperamental, Irish man, people just thought he was mad that Dean had someone. 

Malfoy even didn't suspect. One day Seamus was walking to class. He found himself being harassed again, with Malfoy behind him. "It's a shame that you have to hang out with that idiot, Longbottom because your best friend was snatched up by a Weasley." He hissed in Seamus' ear.

Seamus acted like Malfoy knew what he was talking about. He wasn't about to give away whom he loved to the one person that had once destroyed his life.

Neville was the only person there that night, as Seamus cried. Neville put his arm around Seamus. They started to kiss. Their kissing became heavy. They found themselves snogging, then Seamus abruptly stopped. "We can't, not now."

Neville looked down to the floor. Seamus lifted his chin. He was o-too use to this. "I love you, Neville."

Neville smiled brightly. "I love you too."

Neville had only just got over to his own bed, when Dean came barging in. "She dumped me, for bloody Harry Potter!" Dean was screaming at the top of his lungs.

Seamus looked over to Neville. They both knew their day's together, as they had been, were going to be put on a pause for a long while.

* * *

Seamus found himself between Dean and Neville at Dumbledore's funeral. With Malfoy gone, they could finally be together. That was put on a pause, shortly after the funeral. Neville and Seamus were alone. Neville held Seamus' hands. Looking into Neville's eyes, Seamus knew they couldn't be together yet. Neville was going after Malfoy and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Neville knew that Harry, Ron, and Hermione were not going to be in Hogwarts the next year. Neville had been though so much with them already, Seamus understood. With a single kiss, Neville was out of Seamus' life again. 

Seamus stood in that very spot. He was going to wait for Neville. His mind was confronted with thought of going with them, but he really didn't think it was his place to go.


End file.
